The Occasional Burning

For years Scary Bones had a vision of a world that was filled with goodness and righteousness. He spent most of his days in the employ of the Big Boss (who is many and one), where he did not make any headway career wise or any other wise. Sometimes in a previous life he moonlighted in Hollywood’s blasphemous underbelly making people all around the world break into laughter. But after years of preaching and marketing to save his fellow men and women from the fiery fire of hell, he had a paltry following of just 50 people. This ignited a burning desire or fire within to do something big, something that would bring worldly attention to himself and his flock and maybe win favour with the Big Boss.

He organised a late night meeting with his think tank. They prayed, whispered and secretly met with the group that has no name but is, to no avail. One morning while watching the news on the sacred box he caught a glimpse of Obama Sin Pardon from a rival bearded clan who was world famous on another burning issue, and that inspired him. He thought of his inspiration as a secret memo from his boss. Once again under the cover of darkness he met with his think tank to tell them about his divine mission and the message that was revealed to him. He was to resurrect the ancient ritual of burning anything related to witchcraft. And since people of all colors have been joining the bearded clan in droves there must be witchcraft involved. His boss knew best and who was he to judge.

So on a warm summer morning he called a press conference at which only the A-Clan(the clan with no clan) attended.  He declared that the bearded clan’s book of witchcraft shall be burned in public on the 11th of September to coincide with the end of the flaming birds. The A-Clan spread the word of the spoken day because they always considered the clan types as a helluva bunch who just did not understand the Book of Science.

Flaming birds, poverty, corruption, stolen land, war and just plain maliciousness had become somewhat normal and boring, so the sacred box clan and its sister clans jumped on the this new news worthy topic. It has been centuries since we have had a clan burning occasion (except of course in other exotic places where it happens fairly regularly). And so the word of the occasional burning spread like wildfire.

The bearded clans all around the world went into a religious fervour. Their think tanks got together and were at a loss on what to do. A small group from the bearded clan had an insurgent creative burst and decided to respond in similar fashion, threatening to burn Scary Bones much revered book as well. Just don’t mess with a clan scorned.

The A-Clan watched on in disbelief thinking: “shoo we should be in the book selling business”.

Ultimately the lizard clan stepped in and miraculously found a late, after-hours memo for Scary Bones. A memo he did not get due to his late night think tank sessions. And so the occasional burning turned out to be just smoke with no fire and 1 Afghan dead and 12 injured. Alas Scary Bones may not have grown his flock but now he is as infamous as Obama Sin Pardon and his Boss does not seem to care.

And who says where there is smoke there is fire. Sometimes there is just smoke…….